Professional tantra massage – what to expect?

Professional tantra massage – what to expect? Recently we have found an article with examples of abuse in the field of Tantra. When it comes to sexual energy it is easy to be confused and misguided, if we do not have the right knowledge ourselves. There are many people promoting themselves as tantra teachers and spreading misleading information all over the world. That is why it is worth to give some clarity about professional tantra services. As first you have to know that Tantra is not about sex, but about spiritual growth and development. Professional tantra massage sessions never includes sexual activities, sex or kissing. In order to prevent the abuse, we created this article. It will give some clarity on the tantra massage service and how it should look like. Especially we want to highlight the main qualities to call the tantra session a professional one. In a tantra massage session it is most of all important to feel safe from entering the temple of massage place and you feel you can be authentic and express your boundaries in each moment.


They say Tantra is about being OPEN

We will speak about the main reason of many abuses in the tantra field. People new to Tantra often hear that it is about being open and being in constant flow, feeling in love with life etc. Yes, indeed if you practice traditional Tantric Buddhist practices with time you release certain blockages and open up to world and others. Also when you have had high quality massages for a longer period this is the case. To come to this takes time, the process takes place over a longer period usually. Being and feeling safe on this path does not mean an obligation or advice engaging with other people sexually. Indeed there is nothing in Tantra you are obligated to do, unless you want it.


Open sexuality

The phrase “being open” is literally understood by people as being open sexually. This is of course a wrong approach, which leads to generation of many sexual traumas instead of healing process.

By the way not only people not connected to Tantra say about someone being Tantric as someone open sexually to other people, but also a lot of Tantra schools and teachers promote open sexuality as a main quality of Tantra. That is why many starters after listening to certain type of Tantra experts start with broadening their sexual boundaries and experimenting with sexuality, thinking that they practice Tantra. This is of course a very misguiding understanding of Tantra.  Original common traditional practices does not involve sex nor intimacy. Traditional practices consists in training the mind in visualization, concentration and reciting mantras in Tibetan language.


Boundaries during the professional tantra massage session

Before the professional tantra massage session is given the boundaries of the person receiving are settled, so that she or he receives the service according to the personal boundaries. For example this can mean you only want soft touch, you don’t want to be touched in some parts unless your feeling about this changes during the session.

So this means all the personal preferences including the type of touch and also the places where we do not want to be touched at all, are discussed before the session started. This gives the person receiving the massage, the ability to totally relax and surrender to the space.

This gives the comfort and safety for the healing to happen. In professional tantra massage service you always receive the massage according to the boundaries, so there is no space for surprises or flexible boundaries during the session.


Professional tantra practitioners do not engage sexually with the client

A professional tantric practitioner wouldn’t ever engage sexually during a massage session. This is naturally when people talk about normal masseurs, but it is as true for tantra massages. Tantra massage is not related to sex and is not a sexual service, which means it does not consist in giving sexual pleasure from one to another. It is the massage itself which loads you with vital energy, often referred to as sexual energy, to connect deeper to your inner self. The real tantra masseurs task is to give you the opportunity and the space to experience your own energy. That is also the reason of no sexual interaction, because the tantra masseur is a space holder for your session, which means the masseur is more in a state of meditative masculine energy. This way a tantra session helps to purify and cleanse from different obstacles in a safe and deep way. It includes meditation practice and working with energies.


Professional tantra massage – what to expect:

  • nice and clear communication, before, during and after the professional tantra massage
  • to heave a good feeling about the masseur
  • direct answer to questions you maybe have
  • feeling safe during the session: note that there can be feelings of fear, abundance or anger during a tantra massage which are part of the natural cleansing process, but when the boundaries that where set  are not respected, immediately stop the session or communicate what you feel is wrong

A professional tantra massage is a highly complicated technique, that is why not everyone has right qualifications to perform it. As Tantra is confused with sex, it is worth to read more about the service offered before going to the professional tantra massage session. You need to be sure what is the mission of the temple and what is the background of the healers and tantra masseurs. Keep in mind that there are a lot of erotic services covered under the name of tantra.


Is body to body massage part of Tantra massage session?

A professional tantra massage should get the client to higher frequencies, to the so called “state of bliss”. It includes massage of the whole body, but there is basically no body to body massage. Most of the masseurs do not offer this kind of service, because it lies not in the scope of tantra. In a body to body massage it is almost impossible to hold space for the client, for healing and transformation. Body to body is usually to find in erotic services or between lovers. Lastly, tantra massage works most of all on the energetically level, the physical massage is just the surface of the real happening, which occurs in deep layers.


And what are red flags in professional tantra massage?

So now you know more about what tantra is, what the purpose is and how a massage session is structured. To make it more clear. Here is a list of red flags –  signs that say its not what you came for:

  • you don’t feel safe entering the temple or talking to the masseur
  • you feel being pushed to something
  • there is space for conversation or questions before
  • the boundaries are not set or not clear
  • the masseur is naked
  • something unexpected happens during the massage which doesn’t feel good
  • you feel alarmed or frozen anyway
  • the masseur doesn’t listen to you or is convincing you of something
  • there is kissing or intimacy
  • there is an atmosphere of partnership or having a date

If something happens that wasn’t communicated and agreed before or you experience something you don’t want or feel not ready for, this means the person doing the massage doesn’t respect the safety boundaries. You should immediately stop the session.